The Hedwig Chronicles
by stormsandsins
Summary: It's the Leaving Ball and Sirius Black and Cassandra Sanscrit find each other in the Gryffindor Tower, only to spark off their nine year-old feud and resulting in a hasty flee and resentment and ... something more.
1. The Tumultuous Tirade

**Title: **The Hedwig Chronicles : The Tumultuous Tirade**  
By: **Caducee **  
Status: **Finished 02.07.04**  
Characters: **Sirius Black, Cassandra Sanscrit/Animagus!Hedwig  
**Category: **Romance  
**Rating: **G  
**Spoilers: **PoA and onward, maybe even the first two books shrugs  
**Summary: **It's the Leaving Ball and Sirius Black and Cassandra Sanscrit find each other in the Gryffindor Tower, only to spark off their nine year-old feud and resulting in a hasty flee and resentment and… something more.  
**Disclaimer: **This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.  
**Plugging: **/stormsandsins – where you can read my fics before it's even posted here :D

**The Hedwig Chronicles : The Tumultuous Tirade**

Cassandra Sanscrit had already known that, this time around, there wouldn't be much happiness filling this supposedly magical evening. In fact, no, she should have known that it would have reached a peak, a peak she most despised, especially since it was all fuelled by this inexplicable _hatred_ she could observe everytime it happened. Merlin, she should have known to hold back and leave them be… leave _him_ be.

Lily Evans was God knew where, probably off snogging James, and she had been all alone in the sea created by the remaining handful of young men who had picked Ogden's Old Firewhisky over her company.

She had gone hard on them, she couldn't deny… especially on him. He knew just which buttons to push to set her off like a Fillibuster bomb. He probably knew her too well. Too much.

Cassandra bit her lip and lowered her head over her knees, closing her eyes against everything that threatened to spill in rivers of broken rage. She hated it, hated it all. How could he just push her away and dismiss her like a pile of old rotten apples? How could they? She knew she shouldn't cry over petty little things such as what her best friend's boyfriend's best mates thought and said about and to her, but it didn't stop the fact that it hurt to be forgotten.

She hadn't looked forward to the Leaving Ball but there was always the fact that she was never going to see these people with whom she'd lived with for seven whole years that tortured her now that she thought about it. And here she was, though, up in the Gryffindor Tower, drinking Firewhisky all by herself to drown her state of pain in liquor. It wasn't like anybody cared what she did on this wild night. Surely there were people down there getting high on Bertie Botts' Flower Power Beans… or something even more alluring and despicable at once.

It burnt her throat when she swallowed her next swig.

How could people drink that stuff and not turn out sick?

"Hedwig?"

Cassandra pursed her lips and leaned back on the alcove, drowning out the offending voice as she groaned to herself and tried desperately to make herself become invisible.

"I'll stay right here and pretend I'm part of the décor," she though to herself out loud grimly.

Someone snorted somewhere to her right. "That would be hard, considering I found you first."

Cassandra opened wide eyes at the sound of the familiar voice. "Plus, you have such beautiful dress robes and you're rather hard to miss."

Cassandra rolled her eyes. Her dress robes were a tender lavender and glowed an eerie silver in the bright moonlight. Her blonde curls were wisped up but a few tendrils grazed her face. Right now, though, it only felt to her like he was only trying to get into her good graces to avoid being hexed into next week.

She looked out towards the lake and gritted her teeth. "I'd much rather you didn't talk to me for the rest of my lonesome days… like you used to."

There had always been a never-spoken-of feud between Cassandra Sanscrit and Sirius Black. It wasn't over drastic… just the ordinary. They had been the best of friends in their childhood but had parted when Sirius had befriended James Potter and, a few years later, at Hogwarts, Remus Lupin. Peter Pettigrew had formed the circle and never again had Sirius Black noticed her, unless you counted the times she and Lily had gone over to talk to the boys to admonish them or, later, to form a larger circle of friends. But Sirius had never made any attempt at reconstructing their friendship.

"You don't mean that, Hedwig."

She fought to remain cool but her next words left her mouth and felt much like a hard smack in his face. "Stop calling me that," she groaned, although she didn't turn to stare into his eyes, which would probably be a shade of aqua in this particular light, she thought. Moon-struck night, those that filled the evening skies even though it wasn't a full moon, they amazed her every time. "You haven't called me that in years so I don't see the use in starting to now. It's not like it'll change everything you've said and done."

"Me?" Sirius burst out, all aghast. "Me? What about – "

"You're the one who deemed it right to leave poor little Hedwig alone to fend for herself. Well, you know what? Fend for myself I did, and look what you've become." She finally turned to face him.

He raised an eyebrow sharply, daring her to continue her tirade.

"You've become a self-centered prat, Sirius Black, like the rest of your family."

"Oh, and what gives me the splendid honour to receive such compliments?"

Cassandra pursed her lips in anger and felt the tears brim and sting her eyes. This was what they resorted to every time they met. It started to royally piss her off.

"You know what, Sirius?" she spat defiantly. "It's time you looked around. There _are_ people outside of your bloody circle of marauders. So ring me when you do open your eyes and _see_."

Sirius couldn't have looked more angered. "Great. Thank you. I do, as a matter of fact, see you, Hedwig. Guess why I came all the way up the bloody Tower. I wanted to take a leak?" He snorted bitterly. "Right. No, you see, I saw a pretty girl go up all on her own and I wanted to know what bothered her so… I guess I shouldn't have… oh, dummy old me… I should have known not to be nice. Next time I'll just throw the punch bowl at your pretty face and tell you to bugger the hell off." He had advanced towards her and was now towering over Cassandra. He stared at her hard through aquamarine eyes. "Is that what you want, Hedwig?"

Cassandra fought hard to keep her own gaze steady, but the tears brimming her eyes thickened and suddenly she felt the hot salty liquid burning her cheeks, and all she could think about was how she wanted to just _get out_… get lost as the wind howled in her ears and made her dream at night when she gazed out at the thick white night.

The insistent voice repeated itself. "Is that what you want?" There was more edge to his voice. What it brooked, she couldn't exactly figure out what, but it chilled her to the bone. There was a different kind of intensity in his voice, one that she'd never… She'd never seen him this serious in her entire life.

She hadn't realised she had closed her eyes to block out the tears from falling freely until he spoke again. "Hedwig, do you want me to shut you out completely?" he croaked out, apparently on the verge of tears as well. "Tell me, so I know what… what you want."

Cassandra never got the chance to reply or explain herself. Her entire body grew taut and suddenly she felt the beginnings of her transformation. She opened her teary eyes to watch as Sirius's face turned to astonishment. She wanted out. She wanted free. Nothing sounded so true to her own ears right now than freedom.

And she soared off out the open window into the night.

- - - - - - - -

Sirius's astonishment faded very slowly as the realisation finally hit him straight in the chest. Hedwig was more than just a gifted young witch.

"Where are you going?" asked a rather pissed Peter as he caught Sirius drunkenly by the sleeve before he could weasel out of his way.

Sirius was too preoccupied to notice that a rather large portion of the party's attendees was on the floor dancing something that vaguely reminded him of swing. Lily would be on the floor then, but the thought flitted through his head only a short second. He tugged free of Peter's vice-like grip and pushed him towards a Hufflepuff girl before dashing away and out of the castle.

Where had she gone? He thought of actually calling her, but it would inevitably result in nothing at all – Hedwig was so obstinate – so he quickly resorted to the one place he knew she liked more than her silly fat people photographs collection… And he wondered with a pang to the heart if she had actually kept that collection growing at all.

The lake. The one place in the world where he was sure she was at peace. Lily had more than once told him she would rather study and practice Charms there than any place in the world. He vaguely knew why.

His mum had allowed him at the park on the sole and strict condition that he came back at five sharp and not the least bit stained. He had grumbled a bit but Hedwig came from a respectable wizarding family and it was far better than having to have Regulus tag along. The lad usually twisted every story around to his advantage so that the blame was fired towards Sirius.

So he had gone and had led Hedwig to the park, where he had proceeded to take her to a quiet little pond behind a huge grey rock. They had climbed on it and had stared at the reflected blue skies on the surface of the water. Even then, magic had been a part of his life, but even then, nothing had ever seemed so magical to the small black haired boy as the sullen silence that surrounded them for hours, and the sight, and the sun that set in the distance, and the moss that had filled his nostrils.

He could smell it even now, as he walked and discovered the frail body of the strong young woman before him. He felt suddenly disheartened as he heard the soft whimpering sounds rolling out of her mouth to dive in straight at him and shake him to the core. She was crying, and it was all because of him. How could he?

Suddenly not so caring about his clean dress robes, Sirius knelt down in front of Cassandra and pulled her gently to his chest in a tight embrace. Burying his nose in her hair, he closed his eyes and breathed in the scent of Cassandra.

"I'm sorry," she whispered as other tears rolled out of her eyes. "I've been under so much stress lately."

Sirius pulled sharply to stare at her in the dark. "What's – what's wrong?"

Hedwig bit her lip and became very serious before wiping her eyes with the back of her palm. "I really – I shouldn't be telling you this. I mean, I haven't even told Lily because… anyway…" She nervously licked her lips and set her eyes back on Sirius's. "Over the last couple of months, I've been… having… flashes." She met his inquiring stare. "I usually go to bed and have strange nightmares or dreams but, you see, lately, I've been experiencing… vivid, such vivid dreams that usually show Lily… drifting away. I can't understand it, she just won't turn around when I scream for her to get back here and to look at me, but she never does. And…" She curled up in a tight ball, looking away and distraught. "To tell you the truth, I'm frightened."

Sirius was seeing the young Hedwig again, the little girl who'd run to his house despite his mum's constant scowls and his brother's incessant whinging just so she could have him try to coax her down and tell her sweet nothings so she would forget all the horrors she saw in this nasty world. He'd been the strong one in these moments, but how many other times had she stood up and been curious and courageous beyond her years and everyone's expectations, not to mention smart and alert?

Suddenly she pulled back. "Why am I telling you this?"

His heart tightened weakly as she let go of the hand he had used to stroke her palm absently, and she looked up. Her expression brooked confusion and fear. Why fear? Sirius caught her arm and swiftly turned her around. She looked back up into his eyes and he was at a loss for words, desperately trying to find something to say, something to keep her here with him. "Why didn't you tell me you were an Animagus?" It was the first question that had popped into his mouth, but he had to admit that it was a fairly good question, considering…

Her mouth hung agape and she tried to close it many time, although unsuccessfully. "I – I lost control. I wasn't supposed to – I didn't – it was a mistake," she stammered awkwardly.

Sirius smiled what he believed was his encouraging smile. "Don't be afraid to tell me." He laughed suddenly. "There are _many_ things about me that you don't know." He sighed wearily, lifting a stray lock of her hair to tuck it behind her ear. "If only you'd given me a chance… maybe…"

That set her off again. She slapped his hand away and frowned angrily. "Who says you're not the one who never gave _me_ a chance? You are such a bloody git, you know that? You and your lot of stupid _marauders_. You all think you're so great. They should all know what you're really like. You –"

Sirius snorted. "You're hardly one to talk." His mouth hung agape and his angry face quickly faded to one of apology. "I'm so sorry, Hedwig. It's just… I guess I'm shaken up by your revelation." He breathed in heavily and slowly exhaled in the fashion of someone who wants to calm down before revealing something too. "I'm an Animagus, too."

Hedwig blinked silently at this shocking news, unable to react properly. "Really?" she asked disbelievingly. "Lily never told me – "

Sirius grinned as though remembering something particularly funny. "That's because James swore her to secrecy."

"When did she – "

Sirius inhaled and sat down next to her. "I think she found out only this year. She was raging mad when she found out, though, but James found a way to coax her and I think she eventually grew fond of the idea of having an animal for a boyfriend." He smirked wickedly.

Hedwig elbowed him. "You're so crude," she said, then sighed, looking at the ghostly castle in the distance. "Do you realise this is our last day here?" She hugged herself. "I will have spent seven years here and none with my first best friend." She paused, and then eyed him sadly.

Sirius looked down remorsefully. "I – I didn't realise you wanted to be friends still."

Hedwig sighed. "I did, and that's what you never understood, and – dammit, Sirius, why does it have to be so complicated?"

"What is?" he asked quizzically.

Hedwig met his eyes. "You, me, _us_. Why can't it be just simple?"

Sirius looked down at the sand, then back up. "_Us?_" he asked in a barely audible voice.

Hedwig's heart almost stopped.

"What do you mean, us?" he asked again.

She closed her eyes, trying to regain her composure. "I – I don't – "

She never finished her sentence. Tensing in his embrace, she warmed up to Sirius's soft but searing lips and slowly, tentatively, drew a hand up to tangle it in his short ebony hair and revelled in the soft touch that it provided to her fingertips.

"Sirius," she whispered when they drew back. Her eyes were wide open and daze filled them.

He met her gaze and understood.

She sighed contentedly as her head swam. She welcomed his lips, meeting him kiss for kiss, forgetting altogether that there were people a few miles away, celebrating the end of their studies away.

"Gryffindor Tower?" he asked, panting as he pulled away to let air in through his intoxicated lips.

"I thought you'd never ask."


	2. The Awakening Ceremony

**Title: **The Hedwig Chronicles : The Awakening Ceremony**  
By: **Caducee **  
Status: **Finished 28.08.04**  
Characters: **Sirius Black, Cassandra Sanscrit/Animagus!Hedwig and Lily and James make a cameo :)  
**Category: **Romance  
**Rating: **G  
**Spoilers: **PoA and onward, maybe even the first two books shrugs  
**Summary: **Baby Harry is being baptised, then Blessed and Awakened to magic afterwards. Hedwig Apparates just outside of church and Sirius is upset because she doesn't seem to care enough about their godson to arrive on time. Lily and James break them up.  
**Disclaimer: **This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.  
**Plugging: **/stormsandsins – where you can read my fics before it's even posted here :D

**The Hedwig Chronicles : The Awakening Ceremony**

__

We, James and Lily Potter, hereby invite you to our son, Harry James Potter's, baptism at the Saint-Raphaël Archangel Church on the second day of December, nineteen eighty at two o'clock in the afternoon. A celebration at our home will follow.

Please bring your mum's famed cheesecake. Lily is a bit exhausted and James could not cook if his life ever depended on it.

Note for the magical folks: An Awakening Ceremony will be held at our home at four o'clock. Muggles will see the essential, but we will have activated wards to keep them from having any real interest in it.

Lily, James and Harry Potter.

Smiling, Hedwig slipped the invitation card back into the envelope before reaching down into her tattered tote bag to produce her oak wooden wand. The tip lit the dimly lit hallway as if consumed by a flame within. "_Fringo Alohomora_," she whispered to it, hearing the bolt unlock on its own. She slipped into the rather neat flat and slid her wand over her ear, leaving the envelope on a table near the door.

"All right. Cheesecake. Shouldn't be too hard," she said out loud and then laughed miserably. "Then again, I never had mum's supernatural cooking talent… Great," she realised, "I'm doomed. Why did I wait so long?"

As if on cue, a tap tap sound resounded from the kitchen. Hedwig groaned and stomped towards the sound that lead her to the window, where a very small fast-delivery own was impatiently screeching and tapping the window with its beak and talons. Hedwig quickly opened the window and was suddenly hit by a biting cold blast in the face. She quickly grasped the owl and gingerly took the note from it, shutting the window in its small face.

"Shoo," she gestured before seeing it fly away furiously. "Oh, cry me a river," she then mumbled before unsealing the quickly jotted note scrawled in her batty old boss's tiny handwriting.

_Urgent call. New development in defensive magic._

Apparate in your office as soon as you get this.

Note will disintegrate as soon as you've read.

Ross Kilbourne.

"Why today?" she whinged before groaning wretchedly and re-shouldering her tote bag. She grasped her wand and stormed out moodily to Disapparate once outside in the staircase.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sirius was pacing and muttering curses under his breath when James found him in the drawing room.

"Hey, Pad," he greeted, leaning his shoulder nonchalantly on the doorframe and sipping a bit from his cup of tea.

Sirius only grumbled in lieu of a response.

James's attention was suddenly piqued. Whatever was going on in his friend's head, it was bound to be interesting. "What's bothering you?" he asked, shifting his weight on his other foot and sitting down on an empty chair by the fireplace, which wasn't working today as there was no use.

"I _told_ you she wasn't going to come."

A flash of dawning comprehension washed over James's features. "Oh, _her_." He smirked knowingly. "She didn't call in sick, now, did she?"

"I don't know, seeing as how we haven't spoken in two bloody years."

Lily walked into the room then, cradling a small white bundle. A tiny chubby face with a few black hairs stuck out of the baptism clothes. She cooed to the baby before looking up and meeting Sirius's weary eyes. "What's wrong?" she asked, leaning back into her husband's vigorous body.

James laid his head on top of Lily's and played with a curly strand. "Sirius here is worried that Hedwig won't come."

Lily frowned then raised an eyebrow at Sirius. "Please, you can't believe for one second that she won't come. It's all she's been talking about for the past five months."

"Funny," Sirius snorted sarcastically, "maybe I would have been aware of this fact had I heard at least _once_ from her."

James laughed light-heartedly. "Careful, Pad, the teenage angst brigade will be out here in a second if you don't stop," he taunted teasingly.

"Har har," Sirius grumbled callously.

"Come on, men," Lily called before pushing away from James and walking off, baby cradled neatly in her arms, "we'll be late to church at this rate."

James grabbed her coat off the peg on the threshold and held it out for her before throwing his cloak on. She smiled and let him slip an arm around her. She watched as he craned his neck sidelong to gesture very clearly at Sirius to tag along and not complain if he had his wits about him.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Moaning in mad desperation, Hedwig slung her tote bag off her shoulder and made a beeline for the kitchen, getting her wand ready for some urgent cooking needs.

She had been retained at the Ministry for a new barrier spell, a very complicated one at that, which had required her an hour's time to master and design for herself. As an attack specialist, she constantly needed to be up-to-date with every defensive and even offensive spell known to wizardkind. Which sometimes turned out to be a particularly harassing task, yet something she adored doing. Right about now it weighed more towards the former.

"I wish time was on my side for once," she grumbled to herself before stealing a glance at the clock on the wall and trying to do exactly as her dear old mum had taught her. A bad cook herself, Hedwig had somehow managed to learn the basics and a few extra on-the-side tricks from her mum and had also done inexplicably well on her Potions O.W.L.s. But she had declined ever taking Potions again.

Done in forty minutes' time, the cheesecake was almost finished. All that remained to be done was the cooling down. So she decided to go upstairs to her utterly messy bedroom and offer herself a total makeover from her grey sweats and her large white tee-shirt, which was clinging desperately to her skin with sweat.

Fifteen minutes later, after much debating and much turning down, Hedwig emerged from the bathroom, looking quite stunning and endearing in a long sheath dress that complimented and caressed her every curve before widening at the hipbones and flowing elegantly down to the floor in sinuous swirls of light purple material.

"Well…" She held her breath after the effect had been accented by a light swish of her wand to her hair to make it into a bun at the top of her head. Her face glowed positively bright as she stared at her reflection. "Here we go."

She quickly fled down the rusty metallic stairs and dashed to the kitchen to find a cooling cheesecake. It didn't look as tasty as her mum's, but this would do and she was, after all, in a hurry.

Wand stuck between her teeth, Hedwig put the cake on a platter and put everything in a carton box. Next, she stepped out, locked the door with a complex spell she had designed, and Disapparated.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sirius flashed a smile at the rather large crowd gathered in the gorgeous eighteenth century church, then frowned as he spotted a person who'd just stumbled in through the large oak doors, looking flustered and terribly embarrassed.

Hedwig stood, mouth agape, as everyone turned in their seats to stare openly at her. She gave a little shy smile then made her way to the altar, shuffling past the benches as the old muggle priest resumed his speech. She threw her coat on the first empty bench and climbed on the altar with Lily, James, the muggle priest, Harry and Sirius; he eyed her with what she recognised as a glare.

"Where the hell were you?" he hissed.

Hedwig stared ahead, undisturbed. "Watch your language, Sirius. We're in a church."

James, obviously tired of Sirius's bickering, glanced back and hissed too, "Would you please _shut_ it? For once it would be very much appreciated."

Sirius stared back ahead and bore a moue of annoyance when Hedwig stole a last glance his way. Something tugged at her heart, though, when she stared ahead, lost in her own thoughts and pretending to be focusing on the present when, in fact, she wasn't entirely.

How long had it been since the last time they'd spoken to one another? She could still remember his tender eyes, so enigmatic yet frank and unreserved, his lips, so needing yet so giving in a moment of uncertainty, his hands, rough though thoroughly gentle. Every memory lived and made her senses blaze and ache.

Hedwig used to pride herself in thinking no one could tear her heart open. Sirius had. Once. But it was enough. Had she ever forgotten? Never.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Lily smiled at Hedwig as she gently handed her little boy to her friend. Hedwig gazed at the bundle, speechless. Harry was strong, she could tell. Didn't have to be told he was but an infant, she just sensed that he had a strength deep inside that was inexplicably insoluble.

"So. How was work?" Lily asked her as they sat down on the couch.

Hedwig winced. Sirius was evidently mad at her because she'd 'chosen work instead of family'. Otherwise, Lily wouldn't be asking this. Her best friend was merely doing her duty of keeping things straight within their rather large circle. She licked her lips, wishing she could be anywhere but here. "I – uh… I had some things to tend to this morning. Sorry."

Lily waved her hand dismissively. "It's all right, Hedwig. Don't apologise. I think Sirius of all people should have understood. We're in the middle of a war. A lot of the magical folks we invited desisted themselves just yesterday when the _Daily Prophet_ announced that Voldemort was headed north."

Hedwig stole a glance around, noticing the lack of familiar faces. "Yeah. Figures. I guess I'm not exactly like them."

"Right," Lily agreed. "You don't go into hiding when you're not personally in danger."

They both smiled knowingly as Lily accepted a glass of water from James, who slouched down next to his wife and grinned. "Talking about good ol' me?"

Lily glanced back at him. "Not a chance," she said with a tone of malice hidden somewhere in her voice. "Sirius behaving?" she asked as she spotted him by the punch bowl.

"Meh," James shrugged. "Reminds me of the day he left the Blacks to live at our house. Moping all day…"

Hedwig bit her lip, directing her gaze towards the dark man who was now standing at the punch table and staring dully into his glass and making the liquid swirl before bringing it to his lips. He was very handsome today, she had to admit. He was wearing a black suit and a blue tie that enhanced his dark blue eyes.

The baby suddenly cooed in her arms, startling her out of her trance. Apparently, he'd just woken up and was now trying to reach up to touch the curly strands of hair that cascaded out of her bun and framed her face.

"Honey, sorry," she mumbled apologetically. "I've got something very important to tell your godfather."

In sole response, as she lifted him off her to hand him back to his mum, he whinged a bit but smiled as he recognised his mum's face and smell. She shook her head, smiling too.

"I promise I'll come back for your Awakening, okay?" she mumbled, smiling faintly at Lily who was staring at her as she inched away.

Hedwig rose and flattened the wrinkles off her dress with slightly shaky fingers. Taking a deep calming breath, she strolled towards Sirius, grasping a glass for an excuse to get closer.

"Hi," she murmured when he looked up.

"Do you want some?" he asked dully, lifting the ladle to offer some punch.

"Umm, actually," she licked her lips, and it was the most sensual thing Sirius had ever seen. He stared at her lips suddenly, terribly entranced with them. "I wanted to speak to you." She set the glass down and looked up. His gaze strayed north to her face and he suddenly understood the meaning of this all.

He snorted. "Are you sure you still want to?"

Her eyes widened in offence. "What? Of course."

He was silent, seemed to be studying her to find out if she spoke the truth, then he nodded slowly, wincing as he finished off his punch. "I do detest muggle drinks." He nodded. "All right. Let's go outside."

Hedwig nodded, and then followed him to the door. He grabbed her cloak off the peg and silently covered her.

Minutes later, as they walked and shuffled through the snow-covered path leading away from the Potters' house and into a forest behind their house, silence was still looming over them. Hedwig swallowed the apprehension that threatened to come out full force. She managed to shift her attention to the snow-covered path and the bright sun, and the beautiful country scenery that surrounded them both. She could also smell the faint scent of chimney smoke in the distance. Cold was creeping in.

Suddenly Sirius lashed out. "Where the hell were you?" He had repeated his earlier query with such force that she jumped back and brought a hand to her heart while backing away further, steadying her heart rate.

"I was at work," she answered meekly. How could he throw her self-control aside like that? How dare he?

"Really," he spat out, advancing towards her despite her futile attempts at moving away. "Was it so bloody important that you so _needed_ to stay there and miss your own godson's baptism and maybe even his Awakening? Was it? You know how important the Awakening is to our community… especially in times like these. No happiness. Was it that important?"

"Sirius," she whimpered helplessly, backing further away until her back scraped against the trunk of a large tree. Had they backed away so far from the path? She swallowed her fear.

"Answer me!" he growled, his face inches away from hers.

"P – please, Sirius. I only did what I had to do," she replied with a shaky voice.

Sirius inhaled deeply, closing his eyes against the anger that was sure battling to resurface. In fact, she could see it looming behind his mask. "What was so god damned important?" he muttered, opening his eyes again.

She licked her lips, now reassured since he'd calmed down enough. "I'm a defensive magic developer, Sirius. At the Owen Spartan Charms Development Centre. We work on contracts for the Law Enforcement Squad." She sighed. "When they call us, we'd best be there."

Sirius sighed wearily and turned his head away, still inches away from her face.

She studied his features and noted the lethargy in his stance. "What's wrong?" she asked, wholly concerned.

He looked away. "I just can't believe you would have missed Harry's most important day – for the profit of your job."

She stared at him silently. "Are you sure that's all?"

He met her eyes and, instantly, her heart constricted at the sight of his sadness. "You never called," he choked out.

It did it for her. Hedwig reached a hand out and touched the back of his neck, stroking the small hairs and cherishing the moment when his eyes rolled close. As though driven by an energy that came from deep inside, electricity shot through her fingertips and into her entire body, building between her thighs, where it all met and interspersed intricately. She fervently pulled him to her and felt her body wash over with swirling warmth as their lips found each other's powerlessly.

He suddenly pulled away, resting his forehead against hers and sighing the built-in tension. "I thought you were running away from me all this time."

Hedwig sighed. "Maybe I was. I'm not sure anymore."

He slowly pulled off her. "Let's go back. They've probably started without us."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Magic floated in the air and swirled before enveloping the infant in Lily's caring arms. The white cloaked man on the makeshift dais spoke in ancient Latin, both hands up in the air and eyes closed reverently. The magic magnified and the infant glowed a bright yellow colour as he grew restless. Gasps of fascination erupted from the small crowd that suddenly began to chant in English:

_"Bless this child_

May he awaken to life

Bless him now

May these forces awaken him."

"Bless this child

May he awaken to life

Bless him now

May he serve our noble purpose."

Suddenly, the air stilled. Lily and James held their breaths in the wait.

The white clothed man's voice echoed again against the walls and through the large drawing room which now served as a reception room.

_"Two roads he shall choose between_

Hard a choice it shall be

This young infant shall attain

The powers that lie within."

He lifted his gaze. "The Life Charms shall be cast now."

Sirius and Hedwig, previously sitting, rose to their feet, slipping their hand in one another's. Hedwig felt him squeeze hers suddenly; she looked up and met his eyes. Realisation dawned on her. They had both been waiting anxiously to do this. They stepped up on the dais and ceremoniously produced their wands. Lily carefully handed Harry to the hooded man, as was tradition, and produced her wand as well, and stepped forth first, closing her eyes in thorough concentration.

"I offer you the Gift of Love. May Love guide your heart to find the answers to your every prayer." Red sparks shot out of her wand and caressed Harry's chest softly before disappearing beneath his skin.

James stepped forth next and closed his eyes, slowly raising his wand. "I offer you the Gift of Individuality. May Individuality be your guide through life's complications. Be bold, son." Purple and white sparks flew to the baby's chest as he cooed excitedly, trying to catch the radiance that circled around him. They glowed for a few seconds before disappearing

Sirius stepped forth and mirrored the actions of his predecessors with respect. "I offer you the Gift of Fun." He smiled. "May Fun bring you all the happiness you'll ever seek in life." Yellow and orange rays of light shot out of his wand to reach Harry's small frame and seemed to envelope him before being absorbed by his tiny body.

Lastly, Hedwig stepped forth and closed her eyes reverently, wand raised. "I offer you the Gift of Efficiency. May Efficiency guide you through life's hard days. Be strong." Brown and green streaked to Harry before hazing out of sight.

Almost as soon as she had uttered the last words, a screech owl had dashed into the drawing room, carrying a note on the all-too-familiar Owen Spartan Charms Development Centre stationary.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"You've been called off."

Hedwig jumped, startled, as she pushed the Apparating tent's flap open. She paused and narrowed her eyes and the dark man looming in the corner after regaining her composure. "Sod off."

"So it's true then."

Sirius pushed himself off the side of the bright blue tent and stood directly before her eyes.

"I thought you'd have calmed down after our little talk," she remarked, a bit annoyed at his comeback.

"Careful, now, I know how far I can push your buttons," he taunted menacingly.

"Think again," she snapped, looking him dead on in the eyes. "My head fucking _throbs_, if you want to know the truth. I _don't_ want to go to work, but I can't really sit there and complain, now, can I? I'm feeling really miserable about leaving the celebration, if you care for the truth. I was planning on eating as much as I could handle, I was planning on showering Harry with tons of godmother kisses and, most of all, I was planning on being _happy_." She had said the last part with such intensity while staring him straight in the eye that her eyes brimmed with tears.

Sirius caught that, too. "What's that mean?"

Hedwig bit her lip and looked away, wiping a straying tear with the back a shaky hand. "Why do you care? All you've done today is charge at me as much as you ever could. There's only so much hate I can take, you know."

Sirius's eyes widened. "I do not hate you, Hedwig. Sometimes I just… sometimes I just don't understand you," he said. "But I do love you dearly."

She attempted to smile but failed desolately. "Thanks," she said in a small voice.

"I would never be capable of hating you," he finished earnestly, bringing a hand up to cradle her cheek.

"Thanks," she repeated, then looked down. "I've to go."

He let her pass through and looked back, sighing before running his fingers through his shaggy hair. Hedwig intoxicated him, there was no denying. Set him ablaze. Drove him mad in every possible way.

__

I'll see you again, he swore to himself. _Sooner than you realise…_


	3. The Midnight Rendezvous

****

Title: The Hedwig Chronicles : Midnight Rendezvous**  
By: **Caducee **  
Status: **Finished 23.10.04**  
Characters: **Sirius Black, Cassandra Sanscrit/Animagus!Hedwig  
**Category: **General  
**Rating: **PG-13 (for nudity and _slight_ profanity)  
**Spoilers: **PoA and onward, maybe even the first two books shrugs  
**Summary: **There's a secret lingering above two young adults: their best friends are in imminant danger and it's scaring them.  
**Disclaimer: **This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.  
**Plugging: **/stormsandsins – where you can read my fics before it's even posted here :D

****

The Hedwig Chronicles : The Midnight Rendezvous

Sirius Black sat down and rested his head on a rock restlessly, savouring its coolness and feeling it slightly scrape the sensitive skin at the nape of his neck. Tonight was a cold but refreshing night. The air smelt of moss and lichen and wilderness overall reached his nostrils. In the dark of night he was acutely alert to every sound in the woods and his body was taut as he seemed to wait for something indefinite as of yet.

Suddenly, the air stirred differently all around him. Sirius swiftly raised his head from the rough surface of the rock, scavenging the skies with feverish eyes, heart beating wildly with the knowledge that it was happening again.He already knew the subtle signal, had learned to recognise it every time.

Because, yes, something _was_ happening. Out of the fog, suddenly, a white owl teared through a thick cloud and graciously flew down to come to a rest on Sirius's chest. The young man's breath hitched in his throat, constricting it ever so slightly. He reached out to touch its soft feathery body, but it suddenly morphed beneath his roaming fingers and he recoiled. A young naked woman lay draped across his chest, lids closed and fingers randomly venturing through his shaggy ebony hair. A young woman whose heartbeat he could feel beneath his fingers, like a heart beating in his hand. A young woman whose bright fair hair hid her face.

"Hedwig," he breathed out as she buried her nose in the warm nook of his neck, drawing her tongue out to gently lap at his skin and then blowing on it softly. He shivered, shutting his eyes as he felt the cool air hit the sensitive spot. "Hedwig," he repeated more urgently this time, hoping to catch her attention.

She idly pulled herself off him, lustrous hair an eerie silver in the hoary moonlight as it concealed her naked breasts. A white feathery necklace carelessly hung off her neck.

"What?" she demanded in a quiet sultry voice, eyes roaming his face hungrily, as if it had been moons and moons since the last time. How could he fool himself? It had been too long… much too long to wait for this vision of the woman who…

"Our nephew," Sirius whispered adamantly. "What shall we do?"

Hedwig sighed, then sat on the rock and looked up thoughtfully at the stars as if silently asking them for the answer. She distractedly drew her legs up, draping an arm across one knee. "I don't quite know how we can deal with anything right now. I for one don't know why you even deserted your responsibilities. Didn't you swear to me that you were going to be the sole Secret Keeper? Didn't you swear to James and Lily that you were going to keep them safe as long as evil lurked about?"

She looked at him pointedly now and quickly drew a shape over her chest, transforming at once before his eyes into an elegantly dressed young woman, her naked body suddenly covered in a long rich earth green victorian-esque dress. Sirius stared at her with hidden respect. "Now what more is there left to do other than fearing for us, for them and most of all for everyone, muggles and wizards alike," she continued. "I thought you had more respect for their lives. You knew they trusted you. You knew they had no one else trusty enough to rely on. You knew it all, but you stepped back like a coward and you're now letting the story blindly unfold itself before your very own eyes. So what does that leave us with, Sirius? What are we all to expect? A great unearthly miracle?" she asked with a little more edge etched in her voice than she had planned.

Sirius stared at her openmouthed, unable to utter a single word though he wished he could. He wished he could explain the absolute fear he had felt, the constant worry he had had to live side-by-side with, the potential evil that constantly lurked about waiting for him to let his guard down, the paranoia that had followed him 'round every corner. He swallowed the dryness away and bowed his head before looking up again fearfully. "I don't know," he muttered. "I – I was scared. It was like… like being hidden away wasn't enough to hold back any potential evil from striking. I tried to ignore it all, but it just would not budge." He took a deep breath. "I could not even face or trust anyone other than myself anymore… I even let my own friends get shadowed by my own fear." Hedwig looked down, feeling his last sentence caress her deeply.

Hedwig squinted then looked up at the stars, studying them. She had always cast a veil of security around them though she never cast a single spell. Perhaps it was the utter respect he felt for her but to him it was an emotional security. He could trust her with his life. "I understand fear and I undestand yours, but I don't understand why you let it shadow your actions. You were given a great responsibility and you trashed it to your own advantage. You understand what this means, don't you?"

Sirius hung his head, terribly defeated. "Yes," he mumbled almost inaudibly, staring down ashamedly at his feet.

Hedwig gazed at him with anewed softness, then stood up, pacing, eyes unfocused yet hard again. "You've let the possibility of the deaths of millions of humans arise. I don't supposed you're very proud of that fact."

"No."

Silence rose and Sirius felt sick.

"When are they moving?" she asked all of a sudden.

"I don't know. Maybe they're not."

Hedwig snorted derisively. "Oh, they are, trust me."

Sirius met her eyes. "It's hopeless then, isn't it?"

Hedwig slowly nodded. "Yes, but not definitely."

Sirius tried to stand up but found his muscles uncooperating. He looked up helplessly. "I'm sorry."

Something wavered behind her eyes. Her frown slowly softened. She strode towards him and thrust her lips over his with a desperate need Sirius had never discovered in her. She whimpered, and he realised with a start that she was just as scared as he was.

She unexpectedly twisted her mouth free and quickly drew a sign over her chest. She became naked to him and whimpered again as he grasped her tightly by the shoulders, nuzzling his nose every place it carried him and kissing away the fear that lingered in her.

She pulled away suddenly. Sirius glanced up and caught a flash of silent unspoken fear as she backed away.

"Please… don't leave me," he pleaded. "Tell me what I shall do."

She met his stormy eyes and closed the gap between them again, but did not touch him this time. "We can't do anything now but, hopefully, when the time is right, we will be able to try to do something beneficial."

There was a silent lull as Sirius contemplated her words, then he slowly nodded and brushed his lips over her cheek very lightly, imprinting his mark on her.

"Lily was right to choose you."

Hedwig smiled gratefully. "I can't help it."

Sirius brushed his lips over hers again and then rested his forehead against hers, eyes closed very tightly. His hands found the warmth of her belly, the fragrance of her gleaming hair. "I don't mind it much anymore."

Hedwig seemed to jolt awake and quickly pulled away. Her eyes were shining with pooling tears. She hastily swiped them away, as if afraid of showing her weakness. "Thank you," she said with a small quivering smile.

And then her limbs and entire body bent, twisted and distorted itself before him and she sprung up in the air, wings outstretched and tearing through the skies as she flew back deep into the night.


	4. The Cemetary Reunion

**__**

The Hedwig Chronicles

The Cemetary Reunion

He stooped down to the ground, facing a cold plaque of dull grey marble stone, feeling much too morose to raise his head and read the words artily engraved in it forevermore, the words he hated yet remembered and felt the weight of every waking second.

"I came as soon as I could." Sirius raised his head finally and felt the tightness in his heart give way. He didn't bother wiping the tears that fell freely in small rivers on his cheeks.

She knelt down in the dirt and carefully lifted his chin, gently brushing away the strands of unkempt hair that fell in his face in a motherly fashion. Then she leaned in and placed her warm lips on his cold forehead.

"Hedwig," he choked out, sobbing in her arms at the light contact as she ushered him quietly, listening to him. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it."

"I know," she murmured soothingly. "I know. It's not really your fault. I'm sorry for ever saying it was."

"The house. It's – "

"Shh, I know. It's all right. It's going to be all right."

He pulled away. "And Harry…" he said thoughtfully.

She eyed him quizzically. "I thought Dumbledore – "

Sirius nodded grimly. "Yes. I handed Harry to Hagrid, but – " He cut himself off, pausing to look down as the skies rumbled, announcing imminent rain. "I – he's been sent to a muggle family, Lily's sister's."

"Petunia?" Hedwig asked incredulously.

"Yes. He's never going to learn about his parents or this whole world."

Hedwig bit her lip, hugging herself and looking like a little lost girl; the first time Sirius remembered seeing her looking so vulnerable since… "Maybe it's for the best?" she remarked feebly. She looked away as though she feared he might slug her for her stupidity.

"You know as well as I do that growing up like him, already a huge celebrity in our world just mere _hours_ after his parents' death and defeating someone so powerful and living in theirs with no recollection of what that scar means and how it came to be etched in his skin forever is going to affect him greatly."

Hedwig licked her lips dully and nodded slowly. "What are you planning, Sirius? Tell me," she pleaded. "I don't want you to commit something you'll regret later."

Anger flashed like gunfire in his nearly indigo eyes. "I wouldn't regret killing off the traitor even if it means I have to spend the rest of my life in Azkaban."

Hedwig saw red. Her eyes widened at the meaning of his statement. "Sirius, please, you don't mean that! It's just your anger speaking… Please tell me you won't go searching for the mole. He probably had no choice."

"He _had_ a bleeding choice. Refusing Voldemort's offer would have been the best choice he would have ever made. But, no, the madman rose to bloody masterdom and fed off of people like him. Slime with no pride and loads of fear lurking behind their cold black eyes. People like you and me, but without the nerve to run away when they see red."

Hedwig cringed at the loathsome name that had scared two to three generations of wizards and witches. She had never been scared to speak his name, but it still struck her everytime the name was mentionned. Could he be around a corner, ready to strike again? Voldemort might have been dead or, truth be told, reduced to an inhuman and powerless substance, he still instilled fear in everyone with his unspoken promise to return stronger than ever before. It was just a matter of time. They would have to wait…

"So, tell me," Sirius spat out, "what's the best way to ensure the little bastard doesn't inform his master about my godson's current location?"

"Sirius, _no_." The reply, or rather command, had come out so strongly out of Hedwig that she stared wide-eyed at Sirius and swallowed with difficulty.

Sirius blinked, obviously struck by her words as they sunk in. "What?" he questionned dumbly after a moment of silence.

Hedwig gazed at him helplessly. "So many lives have been put to the test or sucked our of men and women by Voldemort's followers or Voldemort himself. You can't follow on that path as well. You know why?" She stepped forth, grasping his hands in hers and threading her fingers through his, looking up at him intensely with a new confidence, one that only he could induce so in her. "You can't go fight a battle that you can't possibly win by yourself." She softened, now looking melancholically at the grave they stood by. "Lily wouldn't want that, and James neither."

Sirius stared at their entertwined hands and sighed, noticing the light squeeze she'd given to his fingers. "There's something else you're not telling me," he concluded.

Hedwig closed her eyes and nestled her head against his chest, smelling the moss, the cinders and the humid earth impregnated into his clothes and skin, probably from his trek amongst the débris and the woods to get to the cemetary where their best mates now lay for eternity. "I don't want you to go," she breathed out against the thick fabric of his robes.

Sirius didn't respond immediately but brought a hand up to carress her hair softly, leaning his head over hers and ferociously wishing he could change the hands of time and change the destinies of everyone he cared most about. James, Lily, and now Hedwig… and Harry.

He stiffened suddenly. "Hedwig, I want you to swear you won't try anything funny," he said solemnly.

She pulled away and her eyes widened. "What do you mean?"

"Trust me."

The realisation hit her square in the chest. _Trust me._ Could she? "But Sirius – "

"Don't. I'm going to protect Harry, whatever it takes. I'm going to do what's right."

And suddenly a big burly black dog appeared before her eyes. Hedwig cried out, "Sirius, _no!_"

But it was already too late; the dog had disappeared into the woods and never once looked back to offer her the last apologetic glance she was waiting for. The rain fell in cold hard drops against her flattened hair and she hugged herself, standing lonely, eyeing the grave next to her with sadness dripping out of her eyes.


	5. The Shape of Uncertainty

_**The Hedwig Chronicles**_

_**The Shape Of Uncertainty**_

The beautiful white-as-snow owl screeched before descending upon Harry Potter's windowsill, announcing its arrival and welcoming the piece of oatmeal the thirteen year old boy offered it in his hand. He sighed then, bringing his hand down towards its talons and grasping the rolled package: _The Daily Prophet_.

The owl promptly flew to its cage next to the boy's desk. There, a photobook was laying open to a page where a young newly wed couple beamed at the camera before engaging in a kiss next to their best man.

Hedwig felt her heart tear inside her small-framed owl form. The best man had once been a handsome and respectable young wizard who could sweep a girl off her feet with a single glance or wink her way.

She would have wanted to sigh then, tell the boy just a heartbeat away everything that weighed her heart down.

Harry, as if on cue, gasped and stared wide-eyed at the newspapers spread out before him. Hedwig, startled, whirled around and glanced at what he might be looking at.

The words "Sirius Black: Escaped Murderer" stared back at her and made her heart hitch in her throat and her blood turn ice-cold.

A traitor. That was what he was. Years of friendship with James and he had thrown it down the bin and had made up lies about Peter just so he wouldn't be suspected. And all of this time he had been on the Dark side and had fought alongside Voldemort just to quench his thirst for power.

Had she ever really known him? Had he been planning his rebellion all along? Had he lied to everyone including herself? Had he lied to everyone who had loved him? Was his natural charism a mask from the real obscenities forming themselves and ticking away in his head? Had he weaved it all just to be one of the most powerful dark wizards of the era? But, most of all, had he used her, and James, and Lily?

Hedwig felt the tears well up in her eyes and was almost too weak to control them. She wanted to get out somewhere quiet, without her godson's niggling presence, and curl up in a ball to cry all the tears that remained after twelve years of solitude and fear. She wanted to retch her soul. Be gone with it. That guilt that stabbed at her.

She knew she needed to be strong and protect Harry from any potential harm, and this now included the menace that was Sirius Black. He was a powerful wizard and had always been somehow fearsome, even when he had once appeared to be on the good side. But it had always been there, hadn't it?

There was now only one way to eradicate him. Her conscience would be most bruised, but she _had_ to do it, even though it would be a trying time.

Harry Potter looked up, bereft, as the snow white owl took off out the window with a sudden whisk of the wings.

- - - - -

_I know you're here. Show yourself, traitor. You can't escape me anymore…_

The eeriness only added to the deafening silence. In the past, the Shrieking Shack had been a site of terror for the townsmen of Hogsmeade, but she had always felt at ease here, even while not knowing that every nook and cranny was strongly inhabited by the scents of four different yet so homogeneous souls. It resided there still, after all those years of silence. Almost too eerie a silence.

Hedwig soared in the air around the shack, searching for a movement that would betray a presence in hiding. Coming back emptyhanded, she swooped down soundlessly to the ground and immediately transformed into her human form, shivering although she was fully clothed and cloaked. Pursing her lips, she leaned into a window and spied the dark and dusty shack's interior.

"Who goes there?" came a raspy voice from behind her. It congealed her to the spot. Forgetting all about her confidence, she whirled round, startled beyond words, and cried out in sheer horror.

Before her stood Azkaban's escaped murderer, Sirius Black.

His overlong shaggy black locks fell unceremoniously on his shoulders in greasy strands; his tattered clothes hung limply over his once strapping frame as though he had battled the worst creature in the Forbidden Forest and had lost the liveliness that had once made every boy jealous; his once bright and handsome face now held a strange dreariness that loomed over his features like a thick darkening curtain; his eyes stared back at her like one would stare at a stain on a white sheet.

"Who goes there?" he repeated heatedly. Her heart leapt in her chest. His wavering voice had betrayed fear. He probably thought she was a Dementor searching Hogsmeade to deliver the Kiss.

Lowering her hood at a deliberately slow speed, she lifted her chin and met his eyes. Immediately, his hardened features softened and he gazed at her incredulously.

"Hedwig? Is that you?"

Hedwig contemplated him expressionlessly, trying to decipher his intentions. She finally nodded. "Yes."

"Oh, I've been so – I'm really – Hedwig, please, you need to –"

"Sirius," Hedwig cut him swiftly. "I have come only to find out the truth. I will be gone afterwards."

Sirius looked up with anguish in his deep blue eyes and nodded, licking his lips. "Only seeing you here is enough to send me hurling back into reality." He paused momentarily. "You wouldn't believe the atrocities I've had to go through."

She perked up. "Azkaban?"

A frisson ran through him like a leaf in the autumn breeze.

"Speaking of atrocities," she continued with a drawl as she stepped forward to fall into the light cast by the half moon. "Tell me the truth: were you ever inducted in the Death Eaters' circle?"

Sirius stepped back as though she had slapped him in the face, horror filling his face. "You can't be serious."

Hedwig stood her ground defiantly. "Very much so."

"You can't be bloody _serious_." Horror was soon replaced with anger. "And here I thought you came down here to _support_ my case, help me out of this hellhole once and for all." He paused, narrowing his eyes with each step he took closer to Hedwig. "You _saw_ me the night they died. You _saw_ how angry I was."

Hedwig narrowed her eyes as well. "Maybe the anger was there because you hadn't killed all of them. There was _one_ remaining. Harry's alive as a result of your own fault. You didn't tell your master that his mother was a powerful witch. She cast the protective spell and Voldemort was none-too-pleased by your inadvertance. Hence why you came to me that night, angry, because you had failed to succeed in your carefully-plotted plan."

Sirius frowned, lines forming between his eyebrows. "You are barking _mad_, Hedwig. I would _never_ have wanted to kill either one of them. In fact," he added, his voice cracking with emotion, "I would have died for them… I wish none of this bloody mess of deaths and war had happened to begin with."

"Because now you have to hide," she snapped, brows furrowing heatedly. "And it's not a very pleasant lifestyle, now, is it?"

"Actually, you gathered that much," Sirius replied hotly after a thoughtful silence. "I admit, being a fugitive isn't the best idea of a lifestyle, but I _had_ to get out. I was _wrong_fully convicted, Hedwig. I never _killed_ anyone, and I never _spoke_ to Voldemort simply because he's a control freak and because he craves for power. I am not a Death Eater, Hedwig. In fact, they all want my skin back at Azkaban." He looked down to the ground, then back up. "I'm responsible for his downfall, in their minds. Don't you get it? I'm not guilty of anything, except maybe of not properly killing the _real_ traitor."

Hedwig's eyebrows furrowed with confusion. She was still insecure with him being around and so passionate about his escape. "What do you mean?"

"Peter," he replied tersely with his teeth clenched tightly.

"What about him?" she asked, frowning through her confusion.

"He was the Secret Keeper at the time they died. He's the one who went running to Voldemort. Being the bloody git he is, he then went running away into the Muggle world to hide. But I found him and tried to kill him. He pretended I'd killed him by cutting off his finger." Sirius paused, taking a deep calming breath. "You know as well as I do that Pulverising spells pulverise _every_ bit of the person on the receiving end of the spell. So Pettigrew's finger would have disappeared along with the rest of him if I'd really pulverised him, right?"

"Hedwig nodded slowly. "Right," she replied cautiously. "But the _Prophet_ said that you'd used the Avada Kedavra…"

Sirius interrupted her, shaking his dirty head. "I was tempted to. _Believe_ me, I was tempted to, but I didn't. I wanted him to disappear from my sight just enough so that I could deliver him to the dementors." He groaned suddenly, making Cassandra jump. "Therefore, I did not pulverise him. As for killing, well, I _almost_ did. The bastard morphed before my eyes and he was gone before I knew it." His eyes hardened at the memory, thirteen years ago. "He's still out there, Hedwig, I know it." He rummage around into his pocket and produced an outdated copy of the _Daily Prophet_. "He's been living a rat's life since."

Hedwig stared down at the picture. "I see…" She was at a loss. There was much evidence proving Sirius's innocence, but there was still a nagging little voice in the back of her head telling her to be careful. What is this was all a setup again? Hedwig knew Sirius's whereabouts; she could rattle on Sirius. She hated thinking that way about Sirius, but there was still so much she needed to know.

Suddenly Cassandra felt a rush of warmth. Sirius locked eyes with her for a moment, and dipped his head to delicately press his lips to Cassandra's throat. A low, hoarse, distant voice reached her ears. "Hedwig… Cassandra… I kept the secret all this time."

Cassandra's entire body tensed. Her eyes flew open. She pulled away, the sort of pulling away that fear instills in you. "What secret?" she demanded, voice quivering. What was he on about?

Sirius bit his lip. "You. Hedwig. The owl. I never told a soul."

She frowned. "You mean, that I'm an Animagus."

He nodded. "Yes. I never told."

Hedwig burst out laughing, stinging Sirius as she did so. A sarcastic laugh, bitter and hurtful. "Well, you hadn't much of a chance, did you? Locked up and all… Dementors don't much care to listen to you, do they, they just roam the corridors hoping to catch a desperate whiff of you."

Sirius felt battered under her sarcastically amused glare. "I could have told the visitors. Anything. But I kept your secret. I did."

Cassandra smirked. "And I thank you, but…" here she sobered, "It doesn't help any."

Sirius leaned closer and hesitated to envelope her. "Can I – are you well?" he asked, eyes soft and concerned.

Cassandra looked away, hiding her face to hide the truth. "I'm fine, Sirius. Thank you. Really. I mean, for not telling. That's very humble of you."

He sighed. "It's just – I need to know. I need to know you're well taken care of."

"I take care of myself fine, thanks," she replied nervously.

He licked his lips, bowed his head. He looked so old all of a sudden. Hedwig leaned back on the window frame, awaiting his query because she knew in his posture that he wasn't donw. "And Harry?" he asked in a choked whisper, guilt-striken.

Hedwig swallowed a lump of remorse for doubting him. He couldn't have done any of the atrocities she'd accused him of having done. He was just too heart-broken. "I watch over him," she said softly, then looked up and met his questionning eyes, the question hidden in there burning the blue opals. "He's just like James in every possible way."

Sirius nodded sadly, turning away. "Good. From what I've read in the papers he has a lot of Lily in him, too."

Hedwig attempted a small proud smile. "Yes. He has Lily's eyes."

Sirius mumbled a barely audible, "You should leave before somebody comes wandering here."

Hedwig felt her heart constrict. She pushed herself off the window and wrapped her arms around his neck, nuzzling her nose in the crook of his neck and closing her eyes. Sirius held her close, enclosing her in a tight embrace, and murmured, "I won't ever tell, Hedwig. You're too good."

Cassandra smiled through her tears and quietly sniffled before pulling back slightly and feeling the familiar twinge before the body-shifting. Sirius pulled back completely and regarded her with a mixture of sorrow and affection.

Cassandra smiled sadly through her tears and quickly morphed into a snow white owl before soaring away as Sirius transformed into a great black dog. He looked up forlornly at the stars, hoping for everything and yet not quite able to pinpoint what he hoped for.

Hedwig sailed in through the open window, catching sight of Harry sleeping in his bed, away from the unfairness with the Dursleys and just for a moment away from the worries of everyday life in the life of Harry Potter.

She swooped down soundlessly into her cage and looked out at the stars, wishing life were different and yet not quite able to tell what she wished were different.


End file.
